Heroes

„I am same as I was,“ I said.

„No, you´re not, you´re famous now.“

„And what´s the difference?“

„Everything,“ she answered.

Walking by the street when the rain falling down isn´t the best feeling, you know. And when your friend leave you it isn´t eather.

„You okay?“

„No, I´m not,“ I look at him.

„What happened?“

„She happened.“

Do you  know how is it when you lose somebody? It´s like you were suddenly empty.

„What did you tell?“

„Nothing, she told me,“ I looked sadly now.

„Didn´t you apologize?“

„No, but I wanted to, I swear, I just wanted to tell her, that I have feelings for her, maybe I don´t want to be just her friend anymore and I told her just that I´m same as I was.“

„So, you didn´t apologize and you didn´t tell her about the feelings. What did you think? She is still normal.“

„I don´t know, I want her as a friend, but I want her as a girlfried too. And I was panic.“

„You know, that I´m your friend, but you really screwed it up.“

Do you know what is love? Me neither, but I want to know. When I am with her I am better than. Only for her, cause she´s maybe my the one and only. You know, that I am not like that in my normal life, I am not kind, sweet or friendly, but when I am with her I try to be the best version of myself. Only because of the hope.

„Hi guys... eh.... what happened to him?“ he said happily like a joke.

„A girl.“

„Like always, you survive this. Who was that Happy?“

„Sophie,“

When you say the name and you´re like frozen, because you know, that you didn´t say her goodbye before you left, before she left.

„I thought you were best friends.“

„Yes, we were..“

„And?“

„She don´t want anymore, she don´t like the fame, popularity and everything like that and....“ I stopped.

You can´t deny that your friend don´t like you anymore. That´s not just things that she don´t like in your life, it´s YOU.

„And he didn´t tell her about his feeling, because he is an idiot.“

„Is that only because of the fame? I don´t think so.“

„No, she told me that I am not like I used to be, that I am not like her friend and she told me that    she´s never knew more selfish and mean person as me. She thinks, that my fame changed me to worst person and I am always at the party with other famous people, I always get drunk and than I sleep with girls, that I hardly know.“

What´s the feeling when you finally realized that all of that things your friend don´t like about you is true? You don´t know why you were like that and now when you lose everything good in your life you feel like you can´t live.

„And isn´t that true?“

„Maybe, but I don´t want to be like that.“

„Don´t be. None of us is like that. It´s your choice. If you want her, you can´t do the things.“

„How is it possible that you didn´t leave me yet? I´m horrible.“

„You are like brother for us, so tell me. Can you leave your brother?“ I smiled as he said that, but I was crying inside.

I sent her message. I know, that it isn´t good enough, so I wrote only simple: Can we talk? Meet me? . I waited for answer only a second, but for me it was like a million years. She wrote as simple message as me and that was my only hope: Where? . I aswered as quickly as it was possible and went to her flat. I think I broke some traffic rules, but I didn´t mind. I wanted to tell her everything, I was prepared to change myself.

„Hi,“ she said coldly didn´t look at me.

„Sophie, I´m sorry. I know that it isn´t good enough, but I really am. I was an idiot, who let you go.“

„But you changed, til you are famous. Do you think that I don´t know about the girls, that are hurt because of you? Do you really think that I´m okay with that? And they are not only ones, who are hurt.“

When you see your friend hurt because of you, when you see like your friend don´t want to look at you and you feel like the worst person for her. But in that moment, even if you know all of this you have to.

„I want to change, I´ve never realized how I changed, until you told me that. I don´t want to be like that.“

„So change yourself,“ she said still as coldly as before.

„You don´t want to be my friend anymore, right?“ I asked and hoped.

„No, I don´t want be, I don´t want to be part of your fame life.“

„Part of my fame life? I don´t have two different lifes, I want to be always same, never pretend anything and... can you look at me please?“

„I don´t want to see your eyes and your face and your cheeky smile.“

„Please, Sophie, just for a second, because I can´t move on if you don´t look at me.“

She looked at me with her wild grey eyes and I gentle touch her cheek.

„What are you doing?“ she asked surprised.

„You don´t want to be my friend, so I decided. Me neither,“ I kissed her on her lips. That was the thing that I always wanted to do. She didn´t push me back and I was falling in her eyes.

„You can´t just come in and kiss me,“ she said suddenly and moved back like she was afraid of me.

„Why not? Din´t you like it?“ I said a little cheeky.

„I don´t know what I feel for you, I don´t want to kiss you after a few hours ago you were my horrible best friend and now you are trying to be my best boyfried. Sorry, I am confused... I am afraid.“

„When I lost you I was afraid that I won´t have a chance to do this. I don´t know if I love you, it´s too soon, but I feel something for you and I´m sure in it,“ I touched her hand and looked at her again.

„I´m sure that, when we would be together it would be a terrible idea, but you know what?“

„What?“ I asked curiously. She moved close to me and kissed me.

„I want to try it. Maybe I have some feelings for you,“ she smiled.

We walked hand in hand in the park near her flat and sat under a big tree. I have still in my pocket a marker. I took it and wrote on the tree our names, Sophie and Harry and drew a heart around them. She just smiled and give me a little kiss. That´s why I wanted to change, because of her, my Sophie.

Do you know what is love? Now, my dear reader, I know. I know the person, who I have feelings for and I know she is the one for me. Only her told me, only her didn´t like me and only her loved me like only her know. Love is when you can change your life because one person, your friend, and then you love her whole life.